


Love Me the Same

by orchis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Conjugal Visit, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, knightpilotweek, past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-21
Updated: 2016-06-21
Packaged: 2018-07-16 08:07:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7259362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchis/pseuds/orchis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the First Order is defeated, after Kylo Ren is captured and incarcerated and everyone finds out Ben Solo wasn't actually dead, Poe Dameron wants to know one thing. Smut. Written for knightpilot week, day 1, theme 'Vindication'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Me the Same

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place in a future when the First Order has been defeated by the Resistance and the New Republic, and Kylo Ren has lost his force sensitivity (or it's been somehow taken from him), and is in prison. Poe starts to visit him, trying to make sense of the fact that the love of his life wasn't actually dead but instead committing atrocities through the galaxy (including but not limited to slaughtering villages and torturing Poe). And this is their first conjugal visit, so it's PWP.
> 
> Many thanks to Manu and McKittericks for their encouragement.

Poe knows he's being greedy and more than a little reckless, but to start caring about that at this point would be completely useless. So he sits on Ben’s thighs, reaches for his prick and tries to get him hard again. 

They're not that young anymore, but Poe is still hard and there is no way he's leaving this bed until he's ridden Ben so hard he'll feel him inside him for a week. Ben shudders, still a little shaky from his own orgasm, but he doesn't stop looking at Poe, and Poe doesn't know how to feel under that gaze. 

Long ago, they were able to read each other perfectly. They knew their bodies and moods and tastes so well. Now Poe thinks this isn't so different from sleeping with a stranger. Or it shouldn't be, but somehow every touch triggers something – not a memory, never an exact recollection of a night they spent together years ago. Not a memory, but the feeling of a memory, perhaps, and every touch is like a deja-vu, the ghost of another touch from a lifetime ago. 

Poe bites his lip, and he’s getting frustrated because Ben is still soft, skin red with the blood pounding underneath, but otherwise so white. Poe wonders how many years this skin spent hidden from the light, sheltered under endless black robes and a mask.

But he doesn't want to think of that mask

So he focuses instead on devouring every inch of Ben’s body with his eyes, compares this chest to the chest of the man he loved so long ago, and finds new scars and moles, bigger muscles. Ben's eyes are glassy, lips swollen, and that scar crossing his face somehow only makes him more attractive. He smiles, and reaches to touch Poe’s face, but Poe slaps his hand away, grabs the wrist and pins it forcefully to the mattress.

‘No,’ Poe says. ‘Don't move.’

And would you look at that, Ben bites his lip and grunts, and he’s hard again. 

Suddenly, Poe can't wait. He fumbles with the lube and reaches at an awkward angle to work himself open. It's uncomfortable, and Poe is not being as careful as he should, eager to sit on Ben’s cock already.

When he does it, it is a little painful, but he swallows his discomfort. He wants this, he needs this, he needs to take something from Ben, Ben whom he’d loved and mourned, Ben who turned out to be alive and a monster, Ben who turned out to be the bastard that tortured him, who destroyed villages and planets and systems. Ben. Not Kylo Ren. Ben. The judges of the New Republic refused him the name he’d chosen for himself, and stripped of all power, stripped of the Force, Poe isn't sure he's even Ben anymore.

But the way he's moaning, the way his fingers are tangling with the sheets, and the way he's reciting Poe’s name, over and over, remind Poe of a dead man, a man he loved and mourned. 

Poe doesn't want to remember,  so he rides Ben’s dick hoping the sensation will blur everything else. It almost works. He lifts his hips and sits back down forcefully over and over, moaning when the friction inside him is particularly good. He's raw and sensitive and every nerve of his body is screaming for more, more when Ben falls into a rhythm and lifts his own hips in time to meet Poe’s ass, more when Ben pants, more of Ben’s chest to scratch, more of Ben’s dick inside him, bigger, faster, deeper, deeper, there, right there. 

Ben is still saying, almost screaming Poe’s name, and it brings back some memories, of another life. Of them and their youth and giggles and Poe hushing him, quiet, love, we'll wake up the whole house.

The memory rips through Poe’s chest like a lightsaber, and he quickly takes his own cock in hand, and strokes it with a fervour he hasn't felt in ages. 

Under him, Ben moans.

‘Don't you dare,’ Poe says , voice hoarse and commanding. ‘Wait for me.’

‘ I'm trying,’ Ben replies, almost whiny. ‘But you're so hot, Poe, you feel incredible. No one. No one feels like you no one could-‘

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Poe says, vision red with anger. ‘Shut up. You don't have the right.’

Ben bites his lip, tilts his head back, and Poe is angry, so angry and so, so sad. He grabs Ben's chin forcefully with his free hand and makes him look at Poe in the eyes.

‘Are you sorry?’ he asks. Are you sorry, are you sorry, are you sorry, again and again as he strokes himself, as he quickly pulls Ben out because he's not ready to have Ben's come in his ass, as he continues to jerk off and as he can feel the pleasure building up from his belly, ready to flood his entire being. All memories fade, and for an instant, there's only him and Ben and these waves of pleasure tearing him apart. 

He comes, white and messy and sticky on Ben's pale stomach. He smears his come on the hair below Ben’s navel. He's disoriented and compliant, and doesn’t protest when Ben grabs his hand and brings it to his mouth, sucks the come off Poe’s fingers like it's milk and honey. It makes Poe want to punch him in the face and get him hard and ride him again.

They fall silent.

It takes Poe a moment to catch his breath, and when he does, he wants to hurry. He's no expert, but he assumes  conjugal visits can only last so long, and they don't have much time left.

‘Are you sorry?’ he asks again.

Ben takes a moment to reply. ‘Would you forgive me if I were?’

Poe sighs. He stands up, legs shaky, and grabs a towel to clean himself. It is only then he realises that Ben is still hard. A sparkle of lust tickles through him, and there's that familiar feeling, the desire to take care of him and make him feel good, almost strong enough for Poe to drop to his knees and take Ben’s prick in his mouth.

He fights the urge, and he wins. He gets dressed in silence, Ben's eyes on him, and he tries his best to ignore them.

‘Will you be back the next visit day?’ Ben asks, when Poe is heading for the door.

Poe stops, because Ben sounds so much younger, so much like the man he loved, the man he never stopped loving. But that man is gone. Poe doesn't know who's lying on that bed. He's not his Ben, and not Kylo Ren either.

‘I won't,’ he replies, and doesn't say goodbye, doesn't look back when he slips out of the room.

He knows he's full of shit. He'll be back.

 


End file.
